Pier's Place
Russian Diaries - 1
October 11, 2005
"Gooood morning Moscow! This is Vladimir Kazzokov for KGB TV. Here we have in the studios, Irene Chevkuzogonoxastovladzasrtazikova, here to give us representation of MIR space station. The Russian Eagle orbiting the Mother planet."
Vladimir was tired as usual, as every Russian, life was very uncanny, here he was, in Russian society, from Monday, to Friday non stop working. Is it not funny that he could only take time to enjoy life only on the week-end? He and many Russians were asking the same questions...but the Government had its Agents and Secret Police everywhere like caviar spread on a billionaire's table.
Irene, went on to say, "No, not eagle, you stupid granny boy! The MIR is the Russian pride, it is the vodka bottle in space! It is why every Russian is born."
Vladimir was stun, all his life he was wondering...why? Why was he born? And, now some fat chubby Siberian fur coat of a mammal told him he lived for the MIR's sake.
"Sorry, but that is nonsense." He was really stunned...so stunned he could not pretend to be Russian anymore, and was no longer thinking about a long interrogation with the KGB, etc. He was shocked!
"You mean to tell me we are here to...be pawns for a crumby station that is worth less than a toilette?!"
Irene went furious, he thought, now a Russian went mad on TV, many others might be contaminated, so he yelled furiously, "Close transmission you idiots!"
"Da" was the answer that came back to his flubby ears. What else could they say? What else have you heard a Russian say?
The KGB, who were hiding in the toilettes, sprang up and ran as fast as they could, as if there was no tomorrow, to catch and interrogate poor Vladimir. We humans tend to think we are eternal when we are young, but in our foolish of times we even think we can escape our fate...how can you excape your fate if you can't decide where and when you are to be born?
Same thing for Vladimir, if he was born in America, he would have been a happy reporter for BUT News, reporting false news to cover up American politics and econimics, but here he was, a poor Russian, fighting for his life, against the regime.
They took him, back to the station, and the interrogation officer asked, "Comrade, do you want a cigarette?"
Vladimir thought, damn, this means I will not make it alive out of this place, and said, "Sure, it seems like it will be my last one."
"Da."
From that "Da" on, Vladimir's heart could not stop beating like a cheetah in the Sahara, chasing a chicken with stuffed legs. Oh, no! he thought to himself! No!!
"Vladimir, I will go get some,"saying that the officer left, and a bald midget entered. He had the air of a doctor, but was very funny looking, like most Russians. Well, okay, Russian midgets.
"Listen up, I am Doctor Kokonefv, why you go do this bad thing against your country?"
Vladimir answered, "Listen, no one will ever tell me that the whole humanity's meaning of being was to put to orbit some crappy vodka bottle space station!"
The Doctor asked, "Then why are we hear?"
A long pause followed, as Vladimir thought out his problems....all his life, he was neglected the freedom to think for himself, to ensure the protection of all his fellow comrades, that was the Communist way of things.
"You see," the Doctor said, "we humans have the say on what things are, only that, when we do, we take leaps of faith, every thought you have is an axiom of axioms, created while stimulating sense of time, by your brain, that through evolution has a very intelligent base for common sense! But, none of us can be happy with this, all knowledge is quite vain, why are we here? What's the meaning of this all? The grand Putin told us, MIR is the answer! The Vodka in the Heavens! We Russians will be servants, to our Gods! They are the MIR's!!!"
In the Doctor's sick and perveted smile that followed after he saw the common human sickness, wht he was suffering, what we all suffer, but the doctor's case was a very different affair. It was at that point, that he said, "Doctor, your question, 'where do we come from' makes no sense, thus, you can't have an answer that makes sense."
The Doctor told cold...was this Vladimir right?
"Doctor," Vladimir continued, "life is simply complicated, it's hard I know, but to become crazy about it is to lose the meaning of being human. We Russians make great vodka like no other, and now we are idolizing it, has our lives become so depressive so dull to go to this extent? It has, and technology is not helping. Instead of leading man to live natural life, it leads him to an easier life to live, where he becomes more of a number, prone to buy more units, or products.'
Man is becoming sick. And, I am the cure! Starting today, I will fight the state! This is imposterous, there is no god, sure there is not, what ever you say about god, is what you say about him , but it is not god. What we say is god is not god, it is simply what we say about god, and how can we know what we say is god, is god?
We can not know, and is faith so profound? The thing is, faith is not even superficial!
So, durung my life I have been living, for the sake of myself...I believe that there is something mystical. My father died, and I saw something leave his body, and I had a near-death experience, where I almost reached a white tunnel....Life is mystical. It's not to condemn, it's to live! And, you and your comrades condemn life!
Every vodka you drink is to excape it, not to enjoy it!
I know why I am here!"
The Doctor was surprised...here he was, all shocked, and he dared to ask that question, "why?"
"Doctor, have you never been so happy in your life? So, happy, that you feel as a whole, an integral and worthwhile part of the Universe? Happy to be yourself, and happy to live your life? So happy, that if the Universe could be aware of herself she would marvel at me with astonishment as the essence of her evolution! For what is the purpose of all the cosmic movements of stars, and solar systems and light, and etc, if man does not rejoice in his existence?"
The Doctor was so shocked, he died at that instant, realizing the emptiness of his life, under the rule of Communism and company.
And then it happened, a miracle occured, the MIR crashed right on Moscow, and all the light and energies went dead, the city was in total chaos. The machines used to keep Vladimir under stress and control went kaboom, and he left as the place became empty with crazed comrades.
He had a hope, a vision that this would happen, he looked at the sky, and he wanted to say something. Feeling it was not time, he went fast to find a way to excape his gulag country....he knew that the guards were coming to keep all the escapees under control.
Securing his passage to go to Genoa, Italy, he said, "...Father, thanks for taking care of me, up there."
